New Year’s Resolutions – They Will Never Last! 2


The mince pies have been devoured, the contents of the booze cabinet has been drunk, and the family have gone back home after their Christmas visit having had several arguments with you and your family; so with that we reflect as to what our New Year’s Resolutions will be. It is very apt that the top three resolutions last year were: eat less, drink less and try and control your temper more, it would seem that those who made resolutions almost 12 months ago fell at the last hurdle. But why?

Loose weight, drink less, control temper more and giving up smoking are all top of the list of the most popular resolution, which is probably no surprise as they are the things which we are as a society bombarded with most. Today you will be hard to pick up a newspaper or turn on a radio or TV without hearing about the devastating effects which one of those vices can have on your health. However they are all focused towards health, very few people decide to give more money to charity, read more or spend more time with the kids; all arguably just as good resolutions as the ‘healthy ones’ but far less popular on uptake.

The reason being is that New Year’s resolutions become ‘public knowledge’ and gossip, very easily. For those attending New Year’s Eve parties the second topic of conversation (that after the weather) is guaranteed to be ‘what is your new years resolution’. We therefore feel compelled to inform the world of our sins so that we can receive reassurance from our loved ones that ‘your not stressed’ or ‘a drink now and then doesn’t hurt anyone’. Never has one said ‘im giving up drinking for my resolution’ to be met with a response ‘yeh drinking is a problem, were all drinking too much these days, very commendable’, its second nature to just accept that these resolutions will be brought up at the party and reflex will be just to nod and smile.

The things which matter never get mentioned; if one was to say ‘im going to spend more time with the kids this year’ doubt would be cast upon the audiences mind, is she fit to be a parent? why is she not spending time with them? well were all busy but why cant she spend time with her kids? They wouldn’t question giving up smoking in such a manor no one would dare think, bout time – every time were round their house is polluted, or there always moaning about the price – now they will have some money to spend on the things which matter.

When choosing a resolution we stick clear to things which are safe and wont arouse any suspicion such as those mentioned above, however no matter what is chosen whether or not it is controversial there is one guarantee – it wont last more than a month.

Those who ‘give up smoking’ will have a stressful time returning to work that they just have to reach for a cigarette, people who are no longer drinking wont be able to resist the temptation of the 3rd round of drinks purchased on a lads night out, and those who are eating sensible will eventually sucome to the deep; devilish voice that is of a chocolate cake.

The easiest thing of course is to have your resolution chosen for you by a friend or spouse; the danger here is that it be an ever ending list of favors given the disguise of a resolution. Things such as: fix more shelves, pick the kids up from school, do more of your share of the household chores all of which are arguably things which we need to do more/less off but are certainly less fun than giving up drinking; as that wont be accompanied by the reminder of ‘you promised to fix the shelf for your resolution’

When deciding what your resolution will be this year my advice would be go for one of the ‘traditional’ ones, but if your going to do it, do it properly pick something that you really want to change and tell everyone you know so that failure isn’t an option.

As a suggestion of things which you might want to go for, I shall leave you with this quote from one of my tweeters “5 thing I’m giving up in 2010: Beer, Sex, Boys night out, Football & Twitter.. they’re not new years resolutions.. I’m just getting married”

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As The Clock Strikes Midnight - Have You Made A New Year's Resolution That Will Last?

  • I’m making one this year; 1680×1050 😀

    • Thats brilliant fella, the best joke ive heard all day 😀