Property Programs, You’ve Got To Love Them


Property programs, we are obsessed over them. There is something about turning our TVs on and watching people with more money than us spend it all on a run down dilapidated shed, whist having blazing arguments, all the while ignoring all advise given by the experts on hand.

Not only are we content with seeing people moving into a 2 bedroom box flat in the most luxurious areas inner-city Blackpool, but we strive to see our fellow-man (wife and family) travel hundreds and thousands of miles across ocean to restart their lives in different contras. No matter what your choice of property program; be that Grand Designs, Relocation Relocation Relocation or Property Ladder the format remains the same.

Buying a house is perhaps the most important decision we make in our lives, with the only close contender being selling a house. Being a property guru is something that we all pretend to be, looking through estate agents, then stating with an air of importance that a house of that magnitude is worth £100K less then its asking price in its current location; however if relocated to Mayfair in London, its value would be in seven figures!

Luckily for those who write into such programs help is at hand, in the form of a property expert, or if your extra lucky, two. This TV screen husband and wife double act will scour the country of choice whittling down all the houses on offer to a handful which will endeavour to raise a few eyebrows, and they never disappoint.

For this example Gladdis & Harry are looking for a 3 bedroom flat within easy walking distance of a local school in Leeds, and have £390K to spend. Our experts therefore rightly choose three houses within budget; one being slightly above and below, one being bang on target. Viewing Gladdis & Harry walking round each pad is quite an experience, experts pointing out the bedrooms from kitchens, Gladdis worrying about the lack of ‘family feel’ and Harry walking two steps behind Gladdis confirming her thoughts to her.

Most property programs last an hour in length, taking us through the whole buying experience from initial comparisons to a pensioners home, to where I want to move in right away. All seems to be going well until the last 10 minutes, when we hear that the dream house which had an offer place on it has fallen through! But all is not lost, Gladdis & Harry have found a house; it transpires that its £80K over their original budget, in Liverpool and has 4 bedrooms as Gladdis found herself to be pregnant half way through the program. This is great news for Gladdis & Harry, but not for me, i’ve just wasted 50 minutes of my life! I spent 50 minutes watching Gladdis convince Harry that the 3rd bedroom is perfect for when they have guests; only to find that ‘guests’ was code for 3rd child!

I only occasionally watch property programs, and when I do I watch them with my family. Me being a youthful 20 year old, and my dad just turning 50; non of us suffer from Alzheimer’s, however I can categorically say that property programs are perfect for anyone who suffers from this condition. Not only do you see the programs events as they unfolds, but the contents of the program are repeated a total of three times! The first quarter of the program are repeated after the adverts in all three remaining sections. Its something like this:

Hello and welcome to Property magnets where after the break we will be seeing property and those who are attracted to it. Welcome back, in part one we saw a preview of part two, after the adverts we will see whats happening in part three. Thanks for joining us, in part two we recapped on what happened in part one, and what was going to happen in part three. Finally we come to the end of the program, where in part three we recapped what we saw in parts one and two, I hope you enjoyed this weeks show, heres a preview of what happens next week.

Thats it on a postcard really, property programs in a nutshell. We watch the public pretending to be property experts, and property experts being ignored; we see a budget increasing dramatically and brief changing dramatically, which results in a house never considered being chosen; and all the key parts of the one hour program being condensed nicely into the last ten minute recap. Property programs, its more like Big Brother being fast forwarded when making the biggest purchase of your life!

Property programs, we are obsessed with them. Yet never seem to listen to the experts on hand; I wonder why?

Property programs, we are obsessed with them. Yet never seem to listen to the experts on hand; I wonder why?