Monthly Archives: January 2011


The Great British Builders Dictionary 1

Having the builders in to do work is never pleasant, the majority of them don’t clean up after themselves, drink all your tea, and drag the job out as long as possible to make more money. When I returned to my house in Manchester after the Christmas holiday the wall in the garden had collapsed, no one was hurt and the landlord was very good and had organized builders to come round during the holidays to begin rebuilding it. Ive had past experiences with builders many years ago when we had an extension on our house, however rather than the building trade maturing, they seem to have got worse. So in order to help those who are new to builders understand what they say, compared to what they mean. Here is a dictionary I complied whilst I waited like Hadrian to have my wall rebuilt. “Ill be here around 8:00, is that ok?” Means “Provided my dad doesn’t die again, gear stick come off again, dog get run over by a car again ill be here by 8:00. But they cause any problems ill be here by 11:30.” “Its a simple job that love” Means “I should know what to do, but if not ive got a mate who I can ring and can Google ‘How to build a wall’.” “Shouldnt take more than two days” Means “If I arrive when I say I am going to, dont mess around on my phone, reading the newspaper and trying to fill in the crossword it may take double that. But lets be realistic, I am so its going to take 6 days plus.” “Its a two man job” Means “If I wanted it done properly and safely I should have a four man team, however I dont have enough boys as they are busy ripping off one of your neighbors further down the street.” “We couldn’t trouble you for a cuppa tea could we love?” Means “Ive been working so hard on this crossword my brain is over heating, I need a break.” “The weather is no good for this kind of construction love, it simply ruins the work we do” Means “I dont wanna get wet and cold and ruin my hair, id rather stay in the van and read the Daily Sport.” “I just gotta pop off and get some more materials.” Means “I have all the materials I need in the back of my van, I just want an excuse to go for a walk about so I can delay working.” “I need part of the money for the job up front so I can buy materials.” Means “My holiday for the wife and I needs paying off tomorrow.”  


You Never Get What You Deserve 1

It has been a couple of weeks since I last blogged which is the result of the Christmas holidays being more of a break for revision than a break for relaxation. It however given me the chance to make several observations of the world, observations that I would like to let steam off bring to your attention; you never get what you deserve. Life can be divided up into three main areas; work, love and relaxation. Each shall be looked at in turn demonstrating that no matter how much effort you put in, usually you don’t get back what you deserve. The most common area of life, and what the majority of us spend doing is work. From an early age we enter into school life and the joy of assessments. Almost everyone reading this post will remember how little fun exam season brought; studying all hours of the day, writing and rewriting notes and completing past exam questions – for most it was the bane of their lives; but not for all. We all know the person who was ‘academically gifted’, who didn’t turn up to, or payed no attention in class and did no revision. They were the teachers favourite, for the simple reason that they brought their grade average up. The majority of students who worked hard did do well, however not nearly as well as those who didn’t. Personally I found it infuriating to be around people who could get A’s by being absent; however we were told ‘you get out of life what you put in so just knuckle down’. Love can be best analysed by observing the world through watching day time chat shows, reading the papers. I fully understand that these views are tinted to make good entertainment, however there is an element of truth contained. The number of times lie detecter results have given grounds for the breaking up of a relationship only for the victim to claim ‘im sure s/he wont do it again’ or my personal favourite ‘I love them’. Not having a psychology degree I cant comment on it professionally, however from the point of an outside viewer it is clear that the victim has been conditioned to ‘need’ the support of his/her other half, making it hard for them to leave. If good things come to those who wait, and you get what you deserve, why are there so many violent relationships, or relationships that have one party cheating? Surely these people who are treated sub-standardly deserve the same love and respect that they give their violent other half? Finally, relaxation. Now this is perhaps one of the hardest areas of life to analyse, for the simple reason that we naturally gravitate towards hobbies that we are good at. So perhaps this is the one area where that as we have power influence over, we do get what you deserve. What can be done about all of this? The only person we have influence is ourselves. I have found that by understanding that there will always be people who seem to skip through life is a good motivator, for one reason; it makes you stronger. Those who never worked at school or in employment don’t know the satisfaction of getting a well deserved grade, or completing their first project. Without the knowledge and experience of becoming 2nd occasionally, they will be unequipped with the skills necessary to rectify their first significant mistake, something that could prove very costly. I was never the best student, I studied/study hard at university and put all the effort I had at work. Am I currently number one, no, having lost occasionally on all three fronts do I have the skills to become number one; yes. Being number one isn’t about always winning, its about knowing what to do when you lose. For that reason, by not getting what you deserve you will be a stronger person than those who always do.


2010 In Review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health: The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow. Crunchy numbers A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 8,600 times in 2010. That’s about 21 full 747s.   In 2010, there were 58 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 81 posts. There were 120 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 11mb. That’s about 2 pictures per week. The busiest day of the year was May 28th with 291 views. The most popular post that day was TNT – You Sure Can!. Where did they come from? The top referring sites in 2010 were twitter.com, facebook.com, jonathanisaacs.com, tipb.com, and iconfactory.com. Some visitors came searching, mostly for chicken run, jingle all the way, bad santa, ipad mail, and ipad.