The Apprentice Drags On For Another Series


A new series of The Apprentice has started. Where Lord Alan Sugar, master of the failed Amstrad emailer, the failed Amstrad 464, failed PenPad and amongst one of the numerous providers of Sky dishes puts on his business head on in an attempt to find a business partner.

It always amuses me how the voice over man says that Lord Sugar made his money in business, which isn’t as true as it seems. It may have got him on the first rung of a ladder, but since Lord Sugar has made his money in property – not manufacturing new shampoo, not buying and selling 10 random items at the lowest price, and not finding stuff to put in a shipping container to send across the world for a profit.

That aside, if the way he treats the contestants on The Apprentice is anything to go by, he must be a horrid person to work for. Swearing in every other sentence, putting people down rather than praising the successes, telling people he’s the g-d’s gift.

Mind you the people who apply for the show are on the same wavelength as the person wanting to employ them. They spout the same “I’m the greatest” talk, and no sooner were we into the first five minutes of the first episode, the contestants had come out with some crackers!

“I take innovation from Napoleon – I am here to conquer”

“Some people are here with a game plan, I’m just here and I know my superiority will take me the distance.”

“I’m an old head on young shoulders, I¬†believe I’m the new breed of businessman.”

“I have run businesses before, I’m business personified.”

“I have the energy of a Duracell battery, the sex appeal of a rabbit, and a brain like Einstein.”

“If someone crosses me, well its game over for them”

I can’t remember what series it is on, but there is one reason why I tuned in, and that was to see what big-headed people who think they the best thing since sliced bread, fall from the hight which they¬†believe they fly at.

The challenges will be predictable, the reactions will be the same as they were series after series, and Nick Hewers eyebrows will no doubt shock us into the different shapes he manages to pull.

Perhaps the most amusing part of the whole series is Dara O’BriainYou’re Fired” and seeing what Cassetteboy does as a montage, below is last years compilation: