With the Conservative Government attempting to fix the huge budget deficit left to us by the previous Labour administration as a country we are having to cut back. However there are a few areas that should be addressed sooner rather than later.
Following on from the relaunch of the BBC program ‘Room 101’, the program which the celebrities are invited to put things which annoy them into this room to be banished forever, I thought I would like to create a shortlist of things which I would put into the room, if I were ever invited onto the show. Alcohol We have all been there, we have all had far too many drinks and some of us have even wanted to become best friends with the lamppost. Putting all alcohol into room 101 is perhaps a little too far, and perhaps should put in cheap alcohol that is drunk to excess every week across the UK by many. The drinking culture that we have in the UK, which is unlike that of any other culture in Europe is perhaps best kept for another blog post; however once the copious amounts of alcohol has been drunk, the NHS and therefore tax payer are often forced to pick up the bill for those who require a stomach pump or night in the cells. Hundreds of millions of pounds are used to mop up the streets and protect innocent members of the public from alcohol infused incidents, and with the prices of alcohol getting cheaper and cheaper the money that could be used to fund education, better public transport and shorter waiting times in the NHS are instead being used on the people who’s idea of fun is going out, getting completely smashed, starting a fight before occupying a NHS bed for the night. Umbrellas What on earth could be wrong with umbrellas, after all they keep us dry when it rains? Well there are two main bugbears with umbrellas that I have, firstly the quality and secondly the user interaction some have with them. Lets first take the quality. You get super tough ones that are able to withstand force nine gales however are unable to withstand the British weather – how can this be so? Over the past few months we have been quite lucky in Manchester not to have rain as much as we are used to, and my umbrella looks deductively at me by not being used, and to be honest I would love to use him, however guaranteed that the moment he steps foot outside the house, he will turn inside out and ruin my life by making me look ridiculous as I struggle to put it the right way. Secondly people who use them. These fall into two camps and you know who they are. The first camp are the people who walk as bold as brass down the street with their brolly open even tho their is not a drop of rain in the sky. It is almost as if they are practising for the high wire at the circus just wanting to practice holding it. Yes the rain my make your hair wet, but there is no rain, so you don’t need it open! The second of the two camps are those who have MASSIVE umbrellas. The ones I’m talking about are the golf umbrellas that you can fit a family of four under, perfect for a natural disaster area where that said family of fours home has been destroyed by a tsunami, they are not however suited to walking down the street. Pavements in the UK are able to support two lanes of traffic, perhaps three on a good day; and what we do not need are these lanes of pedestrian based highway to be congested with a large umbrella that has been half turned inside out which shouldn’t have been opened in the first place as there was no rain! Computerised Telephones What was wrong with humans answering the phones? Oh I know, they were too expensive, so instead companies who make billions in profit decide that they would spend serious money on a computer system that efficiently deals with your calls, putting you through to the correct department to be quickly death with. Well if it were like that, I wouldn’t have a problem- yes the fact that the call has been made that much more impersonal, but I would be dealt with quickly. Instead we have two options, the first of which is the ‘intelligent’ computer system; one that you can talk to normally and it attempts to figure out what you are saying. Well it doesn’t, you spend five minutes telling it that you want to speak to customer service, only to be told that you are going to be transferred to the accounting department. Accounting department doesn’t sound like customer service at all, its totally different – so how can it make such a mistake? The second option you could get is the ‘non intelligent’ computer system; the one where you have to “select the following option” from your keypad. If it were between a handful of options I could deal with that. I like to think that I have a relatively good short term memory, however I defy anyone to remember 9 option choices, it becomes a test of memory, its almost as if you can’t speak to a representative unless you have an IQ of over 110 and can remember 9 things inside out. If a person answered the phone, I would remain calm, get to speak to whom I wanted to, and all would be well in the world. Smokers Perhaps the most controversial on my list for room 101 items. Firstly lets tackle the issue of smokers rights, yes you do have rights, you are an ordinary citizen of the community apart from you want to smoke. I can live with that, I can almost live with the fact that huge amount of NHS resources are dedicated to smoking related illnesses as this is contracted by the tax and duty that is paid on cigarettes (although smoking outside hospitals still baffles me), what really gets my goat is where smokers smoke. Picture this, […]